Introspection - a Feeling of Belonging and Family

A Pining for Belonging.

I want to feel a part of something special - a family, a community, some sort of organization. I want to develop history with it. I want it to be engrained in my blood. I want its legacy to be passed on through generations. To be creative, to explore the self, to explore others, to learn, to grow together, to support. I want it to have structure, I want it to be defined. I want it to have a name. I want it to be INCLUSIVE. I want there to be above all sincerity and trust.

Why have I been such a Pisces? Changing directions with a obsequious indifference. Going from place to place, never settling - experimenting, conversing, exploring other's families, homes, surroundings. I'm beginning to think that my actions are not so impassive, but rather fervently intentional. I'm searching for a family to belong to - an organization to associate with. One to call my own. One I can pass on to my children. One to create a history that consists of many people, rather than just my own or a specific relationship with one other. I want our separate journies to combine and move forward as one.

Which suffices to say - what has there to be said about "being along". Self-sufficiency, independence, self-assurance, are all good things. Maybe I hope to become a part of a family that has reached comfort with aloneness and is ready to take this one step farther.

And to realize -
There are people that are trying to get out. There are people that don't appreciate the families that you have. There are people trying to get in. There are people that aren't trying to get in at all. There are people that feeling like insiders and people that feel like outsiders.