Thursday, October 28, 2010

Why do I pretend that I'm not a good lover or that I'm not a good cook - I am well capable of doing both. Stop being shy about it - let the light shine.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Dear Zach and Yo-Yo

O Hai, Zach and Yo-Yo!

I appreciate your intuition to seek me out at PDF and scoop me up - I never thought that after only a weekend such a relationship would fostered – a few words to describe…

As I may have mentioned, I used to have serious issues with *j e a l o u s y* Within my first few weeks of being consciously introspective, I quickly came to recognize that feelings of jealousy were frequent and excessive – jealous of other’s success, happiness, intellect, confidence, sexuality – everything that would be defined in social interactions. Since that last September, I was fortunate enough to have a series of experiences and revelations that led me to my current glowing head space. Among many conclusions, I came to recognize that my jealousy was the primary inhibitor to personal development and ultimately self-love. While I indubitably conversed with these individuals, gaining knowledge of any perspective at hand, a piece of my mind expressed undertones of resentment. These undertones prevented me from actively taking the next step in becoming my ideal self. I concluded:

**While recognizing that some are further along their paths than others, my path is unique and progressive with unrelenting hope that I will foster self-love. Squash feelings of jealousy and resentment and cherish these interactions, allowing them to effectuate inspiration and motivation**

That being said…the moment I stepped in my car to return home, my mind degenerated back to green and my insecurities resurfaced as I slid back to square one. With guidance from Osho, I did not fight my jealousy but rather mediated on it and I quickly remembered what I had taught myself these past few months – turning intimidation into motivation. I remain confident that I’m on my right course and with your company I am excited to challenge myself. While many aspects of this knowledge are merely theoretical, I can make this potential energy kinetic. While I have a terrific resume and GPA for Social Research, I have one month to achieve a fantastic GRE score to add to the list. I also plan to apply to some more outstanding Social Research schools that are out-of-state such as Austin or Chicago, taking on extra costs at my own expense - the primary goal being to find the best challenging program for me.

It’s all too much fun and I hope to share again with you soon.

Love as always,